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"Cognitive skills get you "in the door" of a company, but
emotional skills help you thrive once you're hired."
~ Daniel Goleman, Ph.D.
Emotional Intelligence: Your Key to Success
By Barbra White, MBA, Executive Coach
Where would you like to be three years from now? Several more
steps up the corporate ladder? Attracting more ideal clients? Enjoying
better relationships? Wherever you're headed, ensure your success
by increasing your "EQ."
What is EQ?
In his widely recognized books, Daniel Goleman defines EQ, or
emotional intelligence, as "the capacity for recognizing our own
feelings and those of others, for motivating ourselves, and for
managing emotions well in ourselves and in our relationships."
Emotionally intelligent people are comfortable in their own skin;
they're confident, assertive, resilient, and they adapt well to stress.
A strong inner drive keeps them focused on their goals. They're
also outgoing and able to easily build rapport with others.
These are the skills that distinguish the star performers in any job.
In fact, new research shows that a person's EQ skills are a greater
predictor of success than intellectual intelligence (IQ) or technical
skills. When we can successfully manage our moods, our state of
mind, and how we interact with others, we're much more likely to
perform better in our work, get promoted faster, and create better
relationships with colleagues and customers.
The good news is that unlike our IQ, our emotional intelligence
can be improved.
In my work as a coach, I see terrific results in my clients' lives when
they focus on increasing their emotional intelligence. One client, a
mid-level manager in a large healthcare organization, has begun to
command more respect from his boss and peers by using a calmer,
less reactive approach when responding to their constructive feed-
back. Another client who runs her own graphic design firm increased
her EQ by learning how to trust her instincts more when making
important business decisions. As a result, she's become more
comfortable with taking bigger risks and can better anticipate when
she needs to say 'no' to projects that don't fit with her renewed
business vision.
How does your emotional intelligence measure up?
Check out Daniel Goleman's five major components of emotional
intelligence, below, to see where you may not be tapping into your
full potential. Then read the following section for some suggestions
on increasing your EQ.
The Five Components of EQ
**Self-Awareness: Understanding one's strengths, weaknesses,
emotions, and impact on others. High self-awareness provides a well-
grounded sense of self-confidence. One of the most telling signs of
self-awareness is how well a person responds to constructive criticism.
**Self-Regulation: The ability to delay gratification to pursue long-term
goals. Recovering quickly from setbacks and frustrations. Instead of
squelching feelings, expressing them in a manner that shows a high
level of judgment and control.
**Motivation: People with high EQ are motivated by a strong inner
drive, not simply money or titles. They are resilient and optimistic; it
takes a lot to break their spirit or thwart their confidence.
**Empathy: High EQ individuals possess the compassion and
understanding of human nature that enables them to connect
emotionally with others. Empathy allows them to provide stellar
customer service and respond genuinely to a coworker or client's
frustration or concern.
**Social Skills: High EQ individuals are widely respected by their
bosses, peers, and employees. Their ability to quickly build rapport
and trust with those on whom they depend seems almost second nature.
Resources for Improving Your EQ
Raising your self-awareness and confidence are important steps
toward increasing your emotional intelligence. Here are a few ways
to begin:
1. Build up a solid base of information about your strengths and weak-
nesses. Learn more about your natural behavioral and communication
style, and how others may perceive you. Assessment tools such as 360
Feedback Instruments and DISC Behavior Style Profiles can be helpful.
2. Observe yourself in emotionally-charged situations, looking at the
type of situations that you tend to shrink from, or perhaps overreact to.
These reactions may occur when you meet a client for the first time,
or when dealing with a difficult coworker. Keep a log that tracks your
reactions, and whether you thought they were appropriate and effective.
The log will help you see any patterns you'd like to change or improve.
3. Get a better understanding of how you make appraisals or
judgments about situations, and how these appraisals affect your actions.
Separate judgments from facts. Create an inner dialogue to uncover
the messages you give to yourself. Seek other points of view by asking
a friend or colleague how they might evaluate a situation.
4. Read one of the many books on Emotional Intelligence.
See the Recommended Reading List, below.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Recommended Reading List
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Primal Leadership: Learning To Lead With Emotional Intelligence,"
by Daniel Goleman
"Working With Emotional Intelligence,"
by Daniel Goleman
"The Handbook of Emotionally Intelligent Leadership,"
by Daniel Feldman
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Copyright(c)2001 - 2007
Barbra White, MBA, Executive Coach
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